I don't have a dream. Sad isn't it? I hear about people who "followed their dream" or "realized their dream" or even "working hard to fulfill their dream"and I think what the heck is wrong with me? I don't have a dream....can't even think of one. At almost 42 I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Growing up I recall I wanted to be a teacher or a mom. I think I set the bar too low, your typical under achiever. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those things....as it turns out, I'm kind of both of them. I am a mom to 3 kids who I love dearly (most of the time) and I work in preschool where I kind of teach. I don't have any kind of teaching degree so I'm technically not a real teacher, but I do teach little kids. I do like doing it, but it's not what I really want to be doing with my time. Therein lies the problem, I don't know what that is.
Lets go back to that under achiever comment above. I was looking over my report cards and on almost every one of them it says "Salena is very smart she needs to work harder" or even better "Salena is not using her full potential". I guess I'm still not. Looking back when I was growing up my parents (isn't always the parents fault? I often wonder what horrible damage I am doing to my own kids!!) pushed me, but then I think they kind of gave up. Coincidentally this happened right around the time when my sister was born. Odd how that happens, right? There was no talk of what college I was going to, no college tours for me just a "you need to pay rent now that you're out of high school" talk. Bitter much? Yea, a bit. I need to get over it.
So, I need to find my dream, follow my bliss, find my destiny figure out what makes my heart sore. Find out who Salena is and what makes her happy. I'm seeking me.
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